When two people have been in a relationship for some time, their sex life can easily become stale, or even non-existent. The biggest killer of passion in a relationship is actually not stress or external pressures but lack of variety. Try these six ideas and see if it doesn’t bring back some renewed vitality to your sex life:
Try a different location. If you’ve always made love in your bed for the last ten years, then a change of scene is definitely something you should try. It could be in another room in the house – how about the bathroom (preferably during or after a long warm bath together) – or you could try somewhere really exotic such as outdoors (on the beach or a secluded spot in a forest). It may take some organising but it would definitely be worth it.
Commit to trying new things. Sit down and brainstorm a list between you of all of the adventures, fantasies and other things you can think of. Then, for each item, ask each other how curious you might be about trying it. Then start ticking them off the list; many a relationship has been renewed by creating a ‘bucket list’ of sex.
Set aside a ‘passion night’ once a fortnight. As we grow older and the commitments of family and career become greater it is very hard to be truly spontaneous. So planning becomes all the more important – if you don’t plan the chances are very high it just won’t happen. By setting aside a night well in advance you can both plan the ‘events’ of the night itself as well as schedule other things around it. Your ‘passion night’ can be when you make use of your ‘bucket list’.
Buy some toys. Sex toys have come a long way and thy make a great addition to a couples’ sex life. Check out an online store or visit your local shop for some ideas.
Watch some erotica. We’re not talking here about sleazy, hard-core porn. There are some truly great and very artistic movies made in the ‘soft porn’ or erotica categories that are both enjoyable and highly stimulating. Two good examples are “Intimite” and “The Story of O”. A good erotic movie will not only stimulate your hormones, it will also make for some good discussions about sex.
Visit a swingers club. These are very interesting places! Far from being sleazy or ‘in your face’ most are quite tasteful and make for an enjoyable evening with an adult atmosphere. You won’t be under any pressure to ‘do’ anything. You will also often find a bar or other area where you can meet interesting people without sex being overtly obvious.